Journal: February 2, 2017

Dear Ella,

Today is just an ordinary day at Grandma's house. Uncle JoJo and Uncle Joshy are playing the Xbox... shhhh... they're supposed to be doing school. How is your day, Baby Girl? I haven't seen your sweet face in a long time... Or heard your baby words on the phone for probably a couple of weeks or more. I'm sorry I don't talk to you everyday. I know your Mommy is busy with teaching school and all that...

Just know, dearest Ella, that I pray for you; I think of you fondly with the tenderest emotions. I laugh at the stories your Mommy tells me about you. I can hear your little sassy personality in the few times we've chatted on the phone... That's funny because I know you have no idea who or what I am. So, I just pretend and imagine we are one heart, with half here in California and the other half in Georgia.

This is my gift to you, Ella Brooke. {Does your Mommy ever call you that?} I'm writing my thoughts about you; I'm writing about my unadventurous days without you. I don't know when I'll get to hug you again, but until then, I hug you with my prayers.

Love you so much,

~Grandma

P.S. I'm pretty sure I heard you say "Grandpa" on the phone a couple of weeks ago. It made your Grandpa cry...

Journal: February 1, 2017

This is what he said to me:

"I don't NEED you."

"I can get along WITHOUT you."

This is what he said to me:

"I WANT you."

"I don't need you."

"I can get along without you."

Journal: November 16, 2016

Dear Ella,

I'm having buttered toast and coffee for breakfast this morning. My toast is tiny, oval shapes, like little pieces of baby bread. This makes me think of you, Little Ella Bread, Baby Ella Toast. If you were here, I'd share with you. I'd make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just like I used to make for your mommy.

I've heard you've become a baby food snob and now refuse to eat that stuff from the jar. I can imagine your chubby face and puckered lips refusing your mommy's attempts to feed you. As your mommy said, I guess it's time to move on.

I put some frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw out. I'm making sweet and sour meatballs for dinner. Maybe you'd like to eat dinner with us tonight? :)

Know this, precious child, I love you! I know we are far away, but my heart is with you!


~Grandma